hope is a four letter word
by Caliente
Summary: [EDITED 10/2013] set during the end of the 2009!film –– Christine Chapel does not like hostile work environments or Leonard McCoy, and she's not shy about letting people know about it. –– Formerly titled cosmic jokes, karmic retribution and other excuses for life's little ironies


**Author's Note: **Set during the time the _Enterprise_ was back at Earth after the whole _Narada_ thing. Unbeta'd, I'm sorry to say, and therefore somewhat raw. Please poke if mistakes are caught! Thanks for reading.  
**Edited 10/02/2013: **Made it a bit cleaner and clearer (hopefully) but no big plot changes.  
**Prompt: **_I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate. _(via where_no_woman September drabblefest on LJ)  
**Disclaimer:** Characters mentioned are used without permission and are trademarks of CBS/Paramount/Gene Roddenberry. I do not own them and am simply borrowing for my purposes. Please don't sue.

**hope is a four letter word  
**by, Bether

When Christine Chapel learns that Jim Kirk has been given command of the Enterprise—the freaking Enterprise, seriously!—she wonders if some kind of joke is being played on her. She isn't nearly as surprised when Leonard McCoy is named the ship's Chief Medical Officer (from what she's seen, those two are practically attached at the hip), but that doesn't mean she hadn't been hoping for different news.

Because, see, Dr. Leonard McCoy is pretty much the most ornery bastard this side of the Mississippi. (The way she hears it, he used to be the most ornery bastard that side of the Mississippi and isn't it just too damn bad he couldn't stay there?) She's only worked with him a little bit and mostly during the Narada incident, which, admittedly, had everyone on edge but still. It's not good.

And why does this matter? Well, as luck would have it (the bad kind, obviously), Christine is set to be the ship's Head Nurse. And, while she's knows McCoy is plenty competent, she really isn't looking forward to what will undoubtedly be a very hostile work environment. (She'd also really been looking forward to working for Dr. Puri, God rest his soul, which only adds to her bitterness over the whole thing.)

"I can only conclude," Christine announces gravely after explaining the situation to a mostly interested audience of sisters and female cousins, "that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate." She takes a large sip of her drink, not bothering with any explanation of what said karmic misdeeds are—most already know, anyway, and those that don't probably aren't old enough (yet).

The cousin closest to her age, Elizabeth (or Lizzy-Beth, as she's often called), scoffs. "So he can be difficult," a severe understatement in Christine's estimation but she only makes a face to convey that message; "I've never known you to take a 'grin and bear it' attitude."

Christine snorts because isn't that just the God's honest truth? "I never said I wasn't going to tell him what's what." It's part of her job as Head Nurse. Really. "It would just be nice if there was someone above him that would tell him where to stick it from time to time." Because his rank and position means he can ignore or overrule her anytime he wants to and, given his stubborn nature, she certainly wouldn't put it past him.

One of Christine's younger sisters, Caitlyn, makes a tsking noise in an unintentionally fantastic impersonation of their mother. "Honestly, Christie, there's no way he can be as bad as you say." Her family has been claiming this for days but, as none of them have actually met the man, she's inclined to call bullshit. "If he was, who would give him command of the flagship's Sickbay?"

"Jim Kirk." Christine spits his name out like a curse.

Naturally, this is lost on her family; they're all too busy swooning to various degrees. (Even the married few, shame on them.)

"You're so lucky," chirps the youngest of the group, a cousin nicknamed Winnie (although no one can quite remember why as her actual name is Margaret). She's perched precariously on a stool, starry eyed at the mention of the famed captain. "Jim Kirk is a fox."

Winnie's sister, Sarah, snorts and shakes her head. "And a hero," she adds in a tone that would probably work better if she had more than eighteen months on Winnie. It's a mix of, 'Isn't that young thing silly?' (which Sarah cannot pull off) and the kind of exasperated fondness one can only ever have for a sibling (which she can).

Christine rolls her eyes. (She's so tired of hearing about The Amazing Jim Kirk Who Saved Them All. Which, okay, actually has more to do with her own nerves about being assigned under him than anything else because, seriously, he did save the whole fucking planet. But regardless—) "Whatever. He's on my shit list, too."

That's when the oldest in the bunch, a cousin-in-law named Maggie who may be Christine's favorite relative (possibly because they aren't blood related but more likely because she's been like an older sister to Christine—who is the eldest in her bloodline—since marrying into the family seventeen years earlier), smirks just a little evilly. "I bet you sleep with one of them before the end of your first six months out there."

Her expression alone makes it clear Christine is aghast at the suggestion. (Seriously—they're both her bosses! And she'd learned her lesson after that whole Korby thing.) Still, she's a big enough person to admit that they're both rather fine male specimens. But only to herself.

(So when she and McCoy end up having really amazing angry sex after fighting over the staff's six month reviews for hours—a month late, for the record, because things are busy and most of them are still figuring out this working on a starship thing—she doesn't admit that aloud, either. She'd love to girl talk it out with Maggie, but she knows the smug response she'd get back wouldn't be worth it.)

(Although Christine does crack when it happens a few more times and then once when they aren't even angry because she has no idea what the hell is going on or what he wants from her and they are breaking a bunch of regulations here, seriously. And the "I told you so" is even forgiven because Maggie's advice helps her get her head on straight and push McCoy into telling her what the fuck he wants.

Which turns out to be a relationship and, hey, she can work with that. So then they're together. Like for real dating and stuff. Go figure. It's still a hostile work environment, though, because McCoy is grumpy, snappy and short-tempered on duty—as always. The only change is that now Christine can punish him later. As it turns out, that makes all the difference in the world. Go figure.)


End file.
